Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
