if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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