I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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