They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
