She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
