Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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