I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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