Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
