I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
