I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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