Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
