I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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