And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
