Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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