please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
