your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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