shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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