It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
