it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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