The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
