I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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