I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
