Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
