this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
