i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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