Please, let me fuck your mom
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
