Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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