You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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