So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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