it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
