an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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