we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
