I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
