The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
