He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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