What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
