I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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