R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He better not be in your backpack
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
