you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
