glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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