I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
