and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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