It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
