I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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