moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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