I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
