Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
