he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
