There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
