Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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