You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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