Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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