I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
